100 YEARS OF HISTORY
Ross's Final Production
Written by Cathy Ashley (Leslie) in the summer of 2018
The task at hand was to write about what we did this summer. That would be an undertaking of great effort on my part as more has happened to me in the past six months that in any time of my life.
I lost my husband to a sudden, unexpected premature death. I retired. I sold our family home in Toronto and moved partly to a new apartment with my daughter, Lauren, and the rest of my belongings to here in Dunany. It has been a long and tumultuous journey in grief for both of us to our new normal and to carve out what will be our life without him. So, to choose a moment or day that stands out amongst all others – it must be the day of the Ladies’ Cocktail Party – starting in the morning when we buried Ross’s ashes.
It started out dreary. The rain had continued through the night into the morning. The dark and stormy weather matched my dread and cemented the finality of all we felt.
At the cemetery we all stood stooped under a plethora of umbrellas. Like a cue from a director from above, the thunder stilled as we each spoke our poems of love for Ross - Sharon for her brother, Lauren for her father and myself for my husband. Then as our brave daughter, Lauren, tears flowing, laid her father’s urn into the ground, the thunder then grumbled even louder.
Ross seemed to be saying to us that he did not want to go gentle into the good night.
We returned to our cottage – in quiet solitude. It seemed difficult to entertain the thought that the big party, to celebrate his life, which he had asked for in his will, was set for the next day.
We were exhausted. Ross had led a public life in the film and television industry and as such many wanted to pay tribute publicly across three provinces for the last many months. It was a wonderful tribute to kind and generous man that he was. However, it has been a long process and we had not yet had the time to fully grieve.
Neither Lauren nor I really wanted to go to the Ladies Cocktail Party but felt compelled as Jeannie, Ross’s cousin had dedicated the quilt in Ross’s memory. So, resignedly, we made our appearance.
2018 Quilt "Home In The Woods"
I just want to take a moment here to describe the importance of the annual draw for ‘the Quilt. Each year, someone from Dunany volunteers to design a quilt and then organizes and equips many members of the golf course, women, and men, with their quilt square kit to create a beautiful quilt that is raffled off at the Ladies’ Cocktail Party. It is not auctioned off to the biggest bidder – it’s a draw, so people buy tickets every year in hopes of being the lucky one holding the winning ticket. I have always felt that it felt like a long term ‘layaway’ plan that you may someday win and take one home. Ross, Lauren, and I, had never won. This year’s quilt, dedicated to Ross, was a beautiful array of cabins and trees, entitled, ‘A Cabin in the Woods’.
Now that afternoon, as we made our way into the clubhouse for the party, the dark clouds dispersed, and the sun came out in brilliant form glistening on the golf course.
At the cocktail party we each bought tickets for the quilt – me an armful – Lauren – exactly 3 tickets.
The draw began.
There are many smaller gifts that are drawn first. Each person who wins a gift gets to pull the ticket for the next draw. So, we waded through the many early draws. Excitement mounted as each of the smaller gifts are won and the big moment drew near. As each ticket was drawn, I kept hoping that a person who knew Ross would win, so it would mean something to them – and if they didn’t know him, then I would invite them to his celebration of life the next day, so they could find out who he was and how much he was loved.
Jane Fehr was the winner of the last of the smaller gifts. She was now tasked with the draw for the quilt.
The moment was here and so Judy, this year’s Ladies President, read out the numbers…… and miracles upon miracles - Lauren won!
There was not a dry eye in the room as we hugged and cried and hugged and cried.
Judy at this time mentioned that the quilt was dedicated to Ross – but what she did not know was that dedication was embroidered on the back of the quilt. She was then asked to read the dedication and we cried some more. The dedication read,
“Home in the Woods”
The inspiration for the 42nd annual quilt Dunany Country Club quilt comes from our country homes. Nestled in nature, they connect us to generations of families and friends.
The quilters dedicate their work to our brother, cousin, friend, and fellow quilter,
Ross Leslie
1959 – 2018.
With tears in her eyes, Lauren took to the microphone and summed it up, “You can win a lot of shit in Dunany, but nothing compares to the quilt”.
But the story is not over yet.
As people started to take pictures of our family with the quilt - someone from the crowd exclaimed, “Look at the light! Look at the light! It’s shining on the heart!”
We had our backs to the quilt as we were standing in front of it for the photos and so we turned and looked. Sure enough - one of the cabins on one of the quilt squares had a heart stitched on its door. The late afternoon sun was shining through the window behind like a small laser pin light, right through the heart stitched on cabin door.
It was as if, Ross was sending his love to us. To anyone who knew him, it felt like he was there in the room with us all. We had never felt anything like it. It was as if he was telling us that it was okay – that he loved us, and that it was time to stop being so sad – to celebrate him and know that he would always be there with us in our hearts.
This day, like a Hallmark movie, seemed to have been orchestrated by Ross. The contrast of the dark and stormy morning filled with the finality and incredible sorrow as we laid him to rest counterbalanced with the exhilaration and joy of, our best production, our only daughter, Lauren winning the quilt – while light shone through the only heart on the quilt was unequivocal. Ross had produced a whopper for his final production.
Epilogue:
Jane Fehr who had pulled the winning ticket later told me that it felt like divine intervention when she chose the ticket. She had put her hand in and grabbed a ticket, but it didn’t feel right, she moved her fingers around in search on another and it didn’t feel right either. Finally, she picked one that felt right. It was the winning ticket. And Lauren had only bought three tickets - it was the middle ticket….
